To his credit he doesn't sigh or roll his eyes (maybe 8 (almost 9) is too young for that), but he says, "Okay Mom! Love you!" and bounds out of the car with nary another thought for me or the message I'm trying to impart.
As I drive away, I often think about all the good things I want for him (to be honest, I often think of Starbucks and how conveniently located it is to his school as well).
What does that mean - be the best you that you can be? Let's think about that for a minute.
Does it mean to be kind, understanding and attentive to others? Yes, obviously.
Does it mean to listen and learn and be present (in all senses of the word) to what happens during the course of the day? Yes, absolutely.
That's what I want for him - my clever, cute, quirky son.
If I turn that around and put the focus on myself - what does that mean for me? My expectations for myself extend far beyond the expectations I have for my son.
Am I being the best Stef - mom, wife, woman - that I can be? The answer is a resounding NO.
These are the steps I think I need to take to get there. Bear in mind this list may be revised. Often.
- Health. I need to work on my health. I don't know if I am brave enough to go into more detail than that, here - yet - but I need the strength, the confidence, the determination, support and encouragement to do it. Please. I'm starting already - baby steps.
- Outlook. Positivity. Glass half full-ness. Looking on the bright side. Finding the silver lining. Because, when it comes down to it, does bitching about something help? At all? The negativity weighs me down and I'm not having it anymore. Dunzo.
- Self-awareness and positive personal growth. Focusing on the me-ness. Really knowing who I am - what makes me tick, sets me off, calms me down, etc. What I excel at and what I suck at. Then embracing the me-ness and the stuff I love about me. This blog is going a long way towards that goal.
- Love. Give it all, to everyone, in abundant boundless bundles. To my family, to my friends, to strangers. I don't know anything, any situation, any problem - ANYTHING - that isn't improved with a little love and a big, open heart.
Tomorrow, when you check your face in the mirror - at home, driving to work, or in a passing car window reflection - just pause for a second and ask yourself, "Am I being the best me that I can be?" I hope the answer is yes; if not, make your own list and get on with it, sister!