Wordless Wednesday? Not quite.

Today started out rainy. Rain, rain, rain. 

At 1:30ish I ran out - in the rain - to get a quick bite for lunch before a meeting. I noticed then that the rain was what the weather people like to call a "wintry mix". There was substance to the rain drops.

Back at my desk I scarfed down my lunch and got on my conference call. A little while later I looked out the window in my office and saw this:

This was taken through a window with my cell phone. Adjust expectations accordingly.

See that? That's snow. On the ground. Coming down. It's March, people. 

So then I had to talk on my call and I was distracted for a bit. When I turned around and looked out the window again there were big, white, fluffy flakes coming down! As soon as I hung up I went outside and took this pic:

You can see from the sidewalk that it's *mostly* too warm to stick.

Holy snow in March, Batman!

The best you that you can be

Every day when I drop my oldest at school I tell him, "Remember, be the best Poohbear you can be today, ok?"

To his credit he doesn't sigh or roll his eyes (maybe 8 (almost 9) is too young for that), but he says, "Okay Mom! Love you!" and bounds out of the car with nary another thought for me or the message I'm trying to impart.

As I drive away, I often think about all the good things I want for him (to be honest, I often think of Starbucks and how conveniently located it is to his school as well).

What does that mean - be the best you that you can be? Let's think about that for a minute.

Does it mean to be kind, understanding and attentive to others? Yes, obviously.

Does it mean to listen and learn and be present (in all senses of the word) to what happens during the course of the day? Yes, absolutely.

That's what I want for him - my clever, cute, quirky son.

If I turn that around and put the focus on myself - what does that mean for me? My expectations for myself extend far beyond the expectations I have for my son.

Am I being the best Stef - mom, wife, woman - that I can be? The answer is a resounding NO.

These are the steps I think I need to take to get there. Bear in mind this list may be revised. Often.

1. Health. I need to work on my health. I don't know if I am brave enough to go into more detail than that, here - yet - but I need the strength, the confidence, the determination, support and encouragement to do it. Please. I'm starting already - baby steps.
2. Outlook. Positivity. Glass half full-ness. Looking on the bright side. Finding the silver lining. Because, when it comes down to it, does bitching about something help? At all? The negativity weighs me down and I'm not having it anymore. Dunzo.
3. Self-awareness and positive personal growth. Focusing on the me-ness. Really knowing who I am - what makes me tick, sets me off, calms me down, etc. What I excel at and what I suck at. Then embracing the me-ness and the stuff I love about me. This blog is going a long way towards that goal.
4. Love. Give it all, to everyone, in abundant boundless bundles. To my family, to my friends, to strangers. I don't know anything, any situation, any problem - ANYTHING - that isn't improved with a little love and a big, open heart.

So that's it. For now. That's my challenge to myself.

Tomorrow, when you check your face in the mirror - at home, driving to work, or in a passing car window reflection - just pause for a second and ask yourself, "Am I being the best me that I can be?" I hope the answer is yes; if not, make your own list and get on with it, sister!

Sickness update

Youngest boy - home sick. Cough, snot - check. Not lethargic though but kept him home to be on the safe side. 

Oldest boy - not sick. Yet. What's the incubation time for Strep? The hubby reports that he has a snotty attitude though, if that counts. He's home on his 3 week track break so he's happy as a clam. Except for the chores his dad is making him do - hence the 'tude. What's the darn incubation for Strep?

The hubby - good. He slept in since both boys are home and he appears to be quite chipper. He has one of those voices that you can instantly tell his mood as soon as he says hello. Or maybe *I* can - because I'm his wife and I know these things. When his voice is happy we're all happy.

Me - achy, warm skin and really feeling the need to lay down. But I'm at work. Laying down is frowned upon. (Writing in my blog at work is probably frowned upon too - but I'm not asking. Moving on.) 3rd of 3 meetings today in 45 minutes. Heating up my lunch shortly, then the meeting (which will be all sorts of fun - NOT), then going to the Chiropractor. I may or may not return to work. Let's hope not.

There's the sickness update. I knew you were waiting for it.

Sickness is invading. Craptastic.

My little one has been snotty all weekend and was running a low temp Saturday night before bed. He refuses most medicines, no matter what form, so it's always fun and bath-requiring tp administer liquid meds. (I exaggerate a little - we've got it down to a science now with two of us tag-teaming him, but if it's just one of us then it's gonna get messy. And frustrating). 

First, though, the good of the weekend:

I had a great day on Saturday. I dropped my oldest off to stay the night with a cousin, and then picked up a girlfriend to go to an afternoon get-together at another friend's house. I had a yummy skinny-girl margarita (does that mean I'm skinny? No? Darn.) at the party and hung out with four other women. Fun. Then we did a little shopping and went to a pub for dinner, just my friend and I. Later when I got home I hung out with the little snuffily man that evening and then watched a movie (Inception) with the hubby when he got done with his work for the day. (He works freelance and it's definitely not an 8-5, M-F gig).

The bad:

We were supposed to go to a birthday party at my in-law's house on Sunday but little snuffily man was too snuffily and I was afraid of getting the other kiddos sick so I stayed home with him and sent the hubby without me. That's not so bad. But I was unmotivated to do laundry, clean the kitchen, or otherwise work on any meaningful project at my house. I just lounged on the sofa snuggling with the little guy and we watched a Disney movie together. Again - not so bad, but I feel guilty for not being more motivated. 

I also feel guilty for neglecting the blog these past few days. Apologies. 

(Side note: I don't know why I always feel such enormous amounts of guilt. It's built into my very nature and no matter what I do I can't get rid of it. Ugh. I'm not even Catholic!)

Now the worst: 

We just found out that the cousin our oldest stayed the night with on Saturday went to urgent care on Sunday evening and tested positive for strep. Fan-effing-tastic.

Now I have started to feel run down. My skin feels hot and tingly. Maybe it's the power of suggestion. Maybe it's hanging out with snuffily man all weekend.

On the bright side - I did do a load of dishes and two loads of laundry. I made lasagna for dinner and some chocolate chip cookies too. I also beat Plants vs. Zombies again. Oh, wait, that's counter-productive to the other items on the list, isn't it? Oh well. Everything in moderation, right? Balance work with fun and all that. 

I do have some blog thoughts percolating but none have really sunk in and grabbed hold yet. It's coming, I promise. 

Thank you for letting me spew, my dear friends. Apologies. Pray, chant, light a candle, whatever, that Strep doesn't invade my house. Please and thank you.